What is this all about?

When I was a kid, mostly middle school, I always thought that growing up was so fun. With each new birthday, you got something more then a wish when you blew out the candles. you got experience. You got responsibility. You got change. Now that  i am older, I am starting to see the downside of growing up. There is a lot of hurt. There is a lot of love too. Kind of like a roller coaster of experience, ups and downs in excitement, cork screws that make you feel like you might just fall out of your seat, and then suddenly, you are going straight again. And that's why its worth the ride. Because at the end of the day, when you unbuckle your seat, you have one of two thoughts. "Lets Do that again!" or "I didn't like that..."

I want my college experience to follow the first. I want to feel like I accomplished something. That I am making a move toward a more creative and exciting life style. Sure, I'm scared as hell. If you told me your weren't scared to be almost 500 miles from your somewhat perfect home, then I will tell you you are a flat out liar.

What I am Scared of

1. Anxiety (I'll probably explain this later, but I have a really bad anxiety disorder)
2. Falling in love and getting hurt (I'll probably explain why I feel this way later too..)
3. Not being good enough all over again
4. Getting into situations where I am out of control
5. Being in a very unfamiliar place
6. Not making friends
7. Coming home and realizing that I like it better at school then at home
8. College not living up to my expectations
9.  Not living up to the expectations of my family, and mostly extended family
10. Not opening up
11. Not going all out, and taking on different experienes

When i come back next summer, I want to have been to a different place, met different people, and really experienced what the world has to offer for me. I'm scared to death of not being good enough, but at the end of the day.,I have to be good enough for me.

This blog is a journal of sorts. It is a way for me to document my progress, let out my feelings, and prove to myself that I can do this. Let the count down begin...


9 days, 9 hours 32 minutes 45 seconds

My name is Megan and I am a freshman at Coastal Carolina University in Conway South Carolina. Welcome to the not so secret life of the average college freshman.