Sometimes... Sometimes I invest myself... my heart into people places and things. And it makes it really hard for me to get over the little things. What people, do say. It is hard for me to understand why people's feelings change when mine never do. Maybe I am just weird. Maybe I just care a little bit too much. Maybe thats why I can't get over the stupid shit that happened to me when I was little. Maybe I'm just dumb......
Monday, August 26, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
The First Weekend
So I'm all moved in, no parents to be found. Roomies are amazing. I had a mild meltdown during a sexula assult seminar, but other then that, I'm good. I think. If I had a bit more time to myself, I might wrote more, but tomorrow is the first day of school and a boy is coming over to watch a movie with me Because my roomies are going to a party.... and I did enough partying the first and second night for the rest of the semester.
I'll talk later. Night!
I'll talk later. Night!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Should I Tell you a Little Bit About Myself, Or Should I Let the Blog do the Talking?
I'll give you 10 facts about myself, but after that, I'll kinda let the blog do the talking
1. My name is Megan. My dad wanted to name me Kaitlyn, and back in middle school, I actually thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, because there was a girl I absolutely hated, and her name was Kaitlyn. I didn't want people to mistake me for her, and therefore hated it. Megan is so simple. But it packs a punch. They say, "Simple name, complex mind..." (they don't actually say that. I just made that up.)
2. I have an older brother named James, who is kinda my role model. He sucks as a person don't get me wrong, and I don't think the 21 year old has done a single good thing for me in my entire life. But I don't know. Sometimes, he just knows what to say. he knows how to ask questions. I guess he's getting his practice on being a psychologist in on me. He is currently studying Psychology and Criminal justice/law at the University of Maryland, which kinda leads into my third point.
3. I live in MD (more specifically the DMV)
4. I work at the National Aquarium in Baltimore, which could be the best job I've ever had in my entire life, but considering my only other reference is either babysitting my 3 neighbors, or being a cashier at Giant for the past 2 years... its still the best job ever.
5. I have sever anxiety. It more started my senior year, Mostly because of my first AP english class. It was probably performance anxiety, but it esclated rather quickly and kinda took over my entire life. I stopped going to class, i would go home sick right before the classes that I knew I'd get anxiety in. Eventually I decided to grow a pair and show up to the classes that gave me anxiety, and while I still had it, I stopped it from ruining my life. yyyaaaayyyy! Since then, I still get anxiety, but I have found some really interesting coping mechanisms, like touching my nose, or eating massive amounts of mints. hahah
6. I have a turtle named sheldon (:
7. I want to be a marine scientist. I want to study why oceanic animals do what they do, what drives them to hunt, where, when and why. I want to be a writer and researcher about it.
8. I have a small obsession with grey's anatomy (when I say small, I mean like I have seen every episode at least 5 times)
9. I have a really hard time making friends, but when I do, I make them for life. Felicita is my chill friend. We don't necessarity talk about really personal stuff all the time, but when we do, it always makes our friendship stronger. Adrienne is my fashionista. She's my guru. The person I vent to when necessairy. The three of us have been like the three muskateers since junior year I suppose. It super scary that we are all going in different directions, but every time we are apart, we always seem to come back together stronger then ever. I hope when I see them at thanksgiving and christmas, we will be able to pick up right where we left off. Finally, there is Helen. Helen is my other person. Like there is no other way to describe her. She's the person who listens to me bitch and complain about being express at work. Or when I feel like nobody cares about me. Even though we fight like sisters, I know for a fact that no matter how awful our fights get, or how far apart we might me. I know she loves me, and I love her. And at the end of the day that's all that matters.
10. I'm new to blogging. so don't judge me.
T-Minus 8 days 12 hours 18 minutes and 5 seconds
my name is Megan and This is my not so average life being a typical college student...
1. My name is Megan. My dad wanted to name me Kaitlyn, and back in middle school, I actually thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, because there was a girl I absolutely hated, and her name was Kaitlyn. I didn't want people to mistake me for her, and therefore hated it. Megan is so simple. But it packs a punch. They say, "Simple name, complex mind..." (they don't actually say that. I just made that up.)
2. I have an older brother named James, who is kinda my role model. He sucks as a person don't get me wrong, and I don't think the 21 year old has done a single good thing for me in my entire life. But I don't know. Sometimes, he just knows what to say. he knows how to ask questions. I guess he's getting his practice on being a psychologist in on me. He is currently studying Psychology and Criminal justice/law at the University of Maryland, which kinda leads into my third point.
3. I live in MD (more specifically the DMV)
4. I work at the National Aquarium in Baltimore, which could be the best job I've ever had in my entire life, but considering my only other reference is either babysitting my 3 neighbors, or being a cashier at Giant for the past 2 years... its still the best job ever.
5. I have sever anxiety. It more started my senior year, Mostly because of my first AP english class. It was probably performance anxiety, but it esclated rather quickly and kinda took over my entire life. I stopped going to class, i would go home sick right before the classes that I knew I'd get anxiety in. Eventually I decided to grow a pair and show up to the classes that gave me anxiety, and while I still had it, I stopped it from ruining my life. yyyaaaayyyy! Since then, I still get anxiety, but I have found some really interesting coping mechanisms, like touching my nose, or eating massive amounts of mints. hahah
6. I have a turtle named sheldon (:
7. I want to be a marine scientist. I want to study why oceanic animals do what they do, what drives them to hunt, where, when and why. I want to be a writer and researcher about it.
8. I have a small obsession with grey's anatomy (when I say small, I mean like I have seen every episode at least 5 times)
9. I have a really hard time making friends, but when I do, I make them for life. Felicita is my chill friend. We don't necessarity talk about really personal stuff all the time, but when we do, it always makes our friendship stronger. Adrienne is my fashionista. She's my guru. The person I vent to when necessairy. The three of us have been like the three muskateers since junior year I suppose. It super scary that we are all going in different directions, but every time we are apart, we always seem to come back together stronger then ever. I hope when I see them at thanksgiving and christmas, we will be able to pick up right where we left off. Finally, there is Helen. Helen is my other person. Like there is no other way to describe her. She's the person who listens to me bitch and complain about being express at work. Or when I feel like nobody cares about me. Even though we fight like sisters, I know for a fact that no matter how awful our fights get, or how far apart we might me. I know she loves me, and I love her. And at the end of the day that's all that matters.
10. I'm new to blogging. so don't judge me.
T-Minus 8 days 12 hours 18 minutes and 5 seconds
my name is Megan and This is my not so average life being a typical college student...
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
What is this all about?
When I was a kid, mostly middle school, I always thought that growing up was so fun. With each new birthday, you got something more then a wish when you blew out the candles. you got experience. You got responsibility. You got change. Now that i am older, I am starting to see the downside of growing up. There is a lot of hurt. There is a lot of love too. Kind of like a roller coaster of experience, ups and downs in excitement, cork screws that make you feel like you might just fall out of your seat, and then suddenly, you are going straight again. And that's why its worth the ride. Because at the end of the day, when you unbuckle your seat, you have one of two thoughts. "Lets Do that again!" or "I didn't like that..."
I want my college experience to follow the first. I want to feel like I accomplished something. That I am making a move toward a more creative and exciting life style. Sure, I'm scared as hell. If you told me your weren't scared to be almost 500 miles from your somewhat perfect home, then I will tell you you are a flat out liar.
What I am Scared of
1. Anxiety (I'll probably explain this later, but I have a really bad anxiety disorder)
2. Falling in love and getting hurt (I'll probably explain why I feel this way later too..)
3. Not being good enough all over again
4. Getting into situations where I am out of control
5. Being in a very unfamiliar place
6. Not making friends
7. Coming home and realizing that I like it better at school then at home
8. College not living up to my expectations
9. Not living up to the expectations of my family, and mostly extended family
10. Not opening up
11. Not going all out, and taking on different experienes
When i come back next summer, I want to have been to a different place, met different people, and really experienced what the world has to offer for me. I'm scared to death of not being good enough, but at the end of the day.,I have to be good enough for me.
This blog is a journal of sorts. It is a way for me to document my progress, let out my feelings, and prove to myself that I can do this. Let the count down begin...
9 days, 9 hours 32 minutes 45 seconds
My name is Megan and I am a freshman at Coastal Carolina University in Conway South Carolina. Welcome to the not so secret life of the average college freshman.
I want my college experience to follow the first. I want to feel like I accomplished something. That I am making a move toward a more creative and exciting life style. Sure, I'm scared as hell. If you told me your weren't scared to be almost 500 miles from your somewhat perfect home, then I will tell you you are a flat out liar.
What I am Scared of
1. Anxiety (I'll probably explain this later, but I have a really bad anxiety disorder)
2. Falling in love and getting hurt (I'll probably explain why I feel this way later too..)
3. Not being good enough all over again
4. Getting into situations where I am out of control
5. Being in a very unfamiliar place
6. Not making friends
7. Coming home and realizing that I like it better at school then at home
8. College not living up to my expectations
9. Not living up to the expectations of my family, and mostly extended family
10. Not opening up
11. Not going all out, and taking on different experienes
When i come back next summer, I want to have been to a different place, met different people, and really experienced what the world has to offer for me. I'm scared to death of not being good enough, but at the end of the day.,I have to be good enough for me.
This blog is a journal of sorts. It is a way for me to document my progress, let out my feelings, and prove to myself that I can do this. Let the count down begin...
9 days, 9 hours 32 minutes 45 seconds
My name is Megan and I am a freshman at Coastal Carolina University in Conway South Carolina. Welcome to the not so secret life of the average college freshman.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)